THE BIGGER THE PAIN, THE GREATER THE GAIN

Everybody goes through hard times. This is inevitable and even a necessary proccess. Hard times train us to become tougher, more stable and compatible for any other situation.

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If we remember that hard times can be a blessing in a disguise (as how contradictive that sounds) we can smooten the hardness…but we still can’t really deny it, can we? They are hard for some reason. That’s why we have to deal with them. So when shit hits the fan, we have 3 options that will define the results:

  1. We can fall down and live the problem
  2. We can run away and suppress the problem
  3. We can get up and cope with problem

As it is obvious 1. is very distructive reaction to a problem. It’s actually almost not a reaction, why it’s the most passive one. We let the weight of the problem press on us and hold us down. We start to live the problem. We feel incompatible for it’s resolution, not worthy of better life, etc. That emotions lead us to longer lasting moods, that are very destructive, meaning they lead to depression and similar.

2. is not as passive, but still far from what we should be doing. At least not with all the problems all the time. We may think we ran away of the problem, but all we really did is started running with the problem. It’s still there, holding you back, unresolved, more and more painful. Furthermore, unresolved problems act like snowballs. The more you’ll be moving around with them, the bigger they will get. And soon they will become so big they will roll on your head and chrush you.

3. is the only right and constructive way of reaction to a problem. If you’ve choosen this path, congratiulations! You’re half way to resolving it. For that way you need the strenght. And this type of strenght is mental strenght or the so called right mentality. You also need the tactics, advices, but the fundament of all this is the RIGHT MENTALITY. It’s the basis of everything. Like building a house you first need the pillars than you start adding up.

Number 1 mentality that I use: BIGGER PERSPECTIVE.

Step out of the problem. Step out of yourself. But why and how?

Why: you see the problem from all of it’s angles. You might find out it’s not that horrible, you might find out why it occured, or a solution you have never foreseen. So, stepping out of it is crucial.

How: what helps me is following:

When I see my problems as huge obstacles I close my eyes, visualise myself from a bird eye view than I start to further from my physical self into the space. At some point I can only see a tiny speck called Earth, at the next point I can’t even see Earth anymore. Space is enormous and I am really not. It almost feel like I don’t exist. Me in my physical form is unimportant, what even my »trivial«, human mind made problems. Universe is so cool I should be honored to be accepted as a part of it and live up to it’s coolness. There is too much awesomeness to be pointing out small imperfections. Check out this amazing Hubble telescope pictures, to see what I mean, when I say that space is cool: http://hubblesite.org/gallery/album/

If that doesn’t work for you, maybe seeing it all as a movie will. Try to emotionally detach from a problem by placing it into a movie scene. Maybe even a funny one, so you’ll start seeing it from a different perspective and laugh at something you might have otherwise seen as serious.

Nr. 2 mentality that I use: LIFE IS JUST A GAME.

Yes. As how disrespectful that sounds, life is a game. That doesn’t mean you can just step on anybody or be evil in any way or that nothing really matters. No. That means, that by understanding that, you can start to control your own life. You stop being a game figure and become the one who is contolling the figures. The tactics you’ll learn will benefit you in every next round.

To sum up:

  • To benefit from a problem, you have to cope with it.
  • To do so, you have to be armoured with the right mentality.

Stay chill,

Dolores Duh

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